fall smackdown, nfl edition: manning vs. tebow

(see the rest of the Fall Smackdown 2012)
(watch the Broncos play the Steelers this Sunday (NBC) on Tivli!)

Perhaps the biggest stories of this NFL preseason are Tim Tebow’s move to the Jets and Peyton Manning’s return to the game with the Broncos.  These are two of the biggest QBs in the game, so it’s only right that we force them to compete here too, before the Broncos play the Steelers this Sunday (if your school has Tivli, you can watch on NBC this Sunday).

Do we, Peyton?  Let’s use science to find out!

And by science, I mean arbitrary opinions.

Let’s break it down, category-style.

Team:  The Jet’s offense is kind of a mess right now.  Injuries and newbies abound, and this could seriously affect both the team’s performance and Tebow’s.  This article says they look a lot like the 2011 Broncos… And as for the 2012 Broncos, they’re facing a tough calendar, and a questionable defense.
Winner:  The Broncos, and by extension Manning, seem to be looking at a better season overall (if they can maintain their players’ health).

Fitness:  There’s still a lot of nervousness about Manning’s injury.  Even though he’s been seen at the top of his game this preseason, one wrong move could seriously aggravate his neck.  Plus, Tebow’s a solid 10 years younger.
Winner: Not having to recover from a recent major injury makes Tebow the automatic victor here.  And with the needs of the team he’s on, his swiftness may be a particular asset.

Who do people like more?  Just like in the presidential elections, this might be the most important question.  Tebow, while popular in the media, may not be the favorite teammate (all the noise is drowning out recognition for the arguably superior Mark Sanchez, for one thing).  For Manning, there’s a lot of optimism (the Facebook comments are less positive, but Facebook is kind of a scary place).  Plus he’s relatively-controversy free in comparison to the polarizing Tebow.
Winner: Less controversial personality + hopeful triumph over injury = Manning.

Fan slogans (The category in which I make up a terrible fan slogan to write on an imaginary posterboard and carry at a game):
“Manning the Torpedos!”
or
“TeBowFlex - Satisfaction guaranteed!”
Winner: No one.  I’m horrible.  I’m sorry.

Smackdown Champion: Unless his injury makes an unexpected reappearance, Manning’s addition to the Broncos is nothing but a benefit, so… congratulations, Peyton.  This is your true moment of glory.

(see the rest of the Fall Smackdown 2012)