random recaps: “christina applegate/passion pit” (snl 38x04)

(Tivli has only one blogger - and I get bored easily - so this blog can’t recap every episode of every show, no matter how much it would like to.  What I can do is have random recaps when I feel like it.)
(Make sure to watch SNL and everything else with Tivli!)

I don’t think I could ever stop watching SNL.  Whether it’s Stefon-awesome or Gilly-awkward (sorry, never could fall in love with the bubblehair), there’s something about Saturday Night Live that makes it impossible for me to look away.  The frantic energy, the politics of how they use the host, the mix of simple humor and avant-garde weirdness…  I watch so closely that I feel like this cat.  Staring at the SNL cat.  Hoping it will be funny.

So… what about the lovely Ms. Christina Applegate?  Did she lead SNL to victory?

Read on for a sketch by sketch breakdown, with a creepy cat rating system!

• VP Debate (Cold Open) - 4/5 creepy cats
  “Moving on, the baseball playoffs are in full swing, with four teams remaining: the Yankees, Tigers, Giants, and Cardinals.  So if you can, could you please speak personally about abortion?”
  All three impressions here were dead on.  There was no real focus to the sketch, but I didn’t really mind.  That Paul Ryan hair was disturbingly great.
• Christina Applegate Monologue - 2/5 creepy cats
  “I’m like a weird, sick little rat thing!”
  This would have gotten a higher rating if I wasn’t so damn tired of musical numbers as monologues.  Applegate, who also stars on the underrated sitcom Up All Night, is a former Broadway performer, so she does a great job with a frankly mediocre song.  Also, it seemed like the backup singers didn’t know the words?
• Gillette Ad - 1/5
  Those Gillette ads with Andre 3000 and Gael Garcia Bernal are really weird on their own.  Was a Jerry Sandusky reference the best they could do with it?
• The Californians - 3/5
  Best line: Anything Usain Bolt said.
  This was pretty cute - and it’s always fun watching the cast get close to cracking up.  Plus… Usain Bolt was there?
• Tech Talk - 4.5/5
  “Absolutely not, this is a trap.”
  This sketch was exactly what I’d been hoping for.  Awkwardly cruddy set (in the best way), terrible wig, nice twist, and actual relevance.
• Give Us All Our Daughters Back - 5/5
  “Are you a porpoise or a narwhal?”
  The knife-wielding ponytail!  The Denzel impression!  The fact that I would TOTALLY SEE THAT MOVIE!
• Passion Pit  - 3.5/5
  They were good.  Eh, what am I supposed to say?  It was a solid SNL musical performance.
• Weekend Update - 4/5
  “Brothers be eating some gruyere.”
  All I want to know is when we’re getting Stefon back.
• The Aegean Sea - 3.5/5
  “Captian, that was on my sister Delphina’s mixtape like 15 years ago.”
  This was some weirdness (and it went on too long) but I kind of love the concept and everyone sold it well.
• Helloween Dance - 2/5
  Don’t wanna talk about it. It was… meh.  The Mufasa thing was great, though.
• Dance Teacher - 5/5
  “I have an audition tomorrow and I need to learn how to dance.”
  Maybe this is the musical theater geek in me, but I thought this was was some dead-on, funny stuff.